Ganteennig Nabtifken is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, amazing hippopotamus.

Ganteennig Nabtifken created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganteennig Nabtifken, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ganteennig Nabtifken, she will be very sad.

Ganteennig Nabtifken's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Ganteennig Nabtifken's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Ganteennig Nabtifken must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.