Largkennur is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, narcissistic crocodile.

Largkennur created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largkennur, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Largkennur, it will turn you into a frog.

Largkennur's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Largkennur's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges.

2. Never skip near ducks.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.