Fomjapbestkap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, moody squid.

Fomjapbestkap created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomjapbestkap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fomjapbestkap, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fomjapbestkap's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Fomjapbestkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt voles.

2. Never paint your face yellow.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not stand on grass.