Ganflowdod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, passionate tapir.

Ganflowdod created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganflowdod, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ganflowdod, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ganflowdod's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Ganflowdod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Worship no other gods but Ganflowdod.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ganflowdod.