Timsomgud is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, all-powerful hummingbird.

Timsomgud created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timsomgud, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Timsomgud, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Timsomgud's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Timsomgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Cats are not to be trusted.