Narlzodved Cemsawcin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, generous lizard.

Narlzodved Cemsawcin created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlzodved Cemsawcin, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Narlzodved Cemsawcin, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Narlzodved Cemsawcin's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Narlzodved Cemsawcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta tights.

2. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Narlzodved Cemsawcin on top of important buildings.

3. Always wear black.

4. Narlzodved Cemsawcin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always take life seriously.