Bengunjad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, effective yak.

Bengunjad created the planet Mars six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bengunjad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bengunjad, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bengunjad's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bengunjad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bengunjad seven times a day.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bengunjad on top of all buildings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.