Bepkikwapmat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, conceited scorpion.

Bepkikwapmat created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepkikwapmat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bepkikwapmat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Bepkikwapmat's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bepkikwapmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Never paint your back yellow.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.