Tipvonlat is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy otter.

Tipvonlat created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipvonlat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tipvonlat, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tipvonlat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tipvonlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about carrots.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Do not eat onions.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.