Tikrutzen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, compassionate fish.

Tikrutzen created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikrutzen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tikrutzen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tikrutzen's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tikrutzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Do not eat limes.

3. Put Tikrutzen first in all things.

4. You must love Tikrutzen.

5. Always obey Tikrutzen's priests.