Mutyarlwip Kadraksan Fabjinloghotwikbudont is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unsympathetic porpoise.

Mutyarlwip Kadraksan Fabjinloghotwikbudont created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutyarlwip Kadraksan Fabjinloghotwikbudont, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mutyarlwip Kadraksan Fabjinloghotwikbudont, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Mutyarlwip Kadraksan Fabjinloghotwikbudont's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Mutyarlwip Kadraksan Fabjinloghotwikbudont's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not kill tapirs.

3. Mutyarlwip Kadraksan Fabjinloghotwikbudont loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Mutyarlwip Kadraksan Fabjinloghotwikbudont on top of all buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.