Flatflagcap is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awesome goblin.

Flatflagcap created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Flatflagcap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flatflagcap, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flatflagcap's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Flatflagcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.