Suggebcut is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, merciless newt.

Suggebcut created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Suggebcut, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Suggebcut, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Suggebcut's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Suggebcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to great tits while wearing turquoise coats.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Always obey Suggebcut's priests.

4. Do not kill mites.

5. Do not chop down trees.