Carjansab Cetfutben is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy penguin.

Carjansab Cetfutben created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carjansab Cetfutben, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Carjansab Cetfutben, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Carjansab Cetfutben's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Carjansab Cetfutben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Feed all hungry doves.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.