Bigzanfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, kind ant.

Bigzanfarn created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Bigzanfarn, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bigzanfarn, he will turn you into a slug.

Bigzanfarn's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bigzanfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.