Nuttcinnadnil is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced bear.

Nuttcinnadnil created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttcinnadnil, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nuttcinnadnil, it will turn you into a snail.

Nuttcinnadnil's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Nuttcinnadnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always obey Nuttcinnadnil's priests.

3. Never bounce in the presence of otters.

4. Never mention capybaras.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.