Kabpommeg is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, merciful toad.

Kabpommeg created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabpommeg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kabpommeg, she will turn you into a slug.

Kabpommeg's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kabpommeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Kabpommeg on top of all buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

5. Put Kabpommeg first in all things.