Gessnuttlip is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, strong deer.

Gessnuttlip created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessnuttlip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gessnuttlip, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Gessnuttlip's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gessnuttlip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hide from yellow ducks for they are unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gessnuttlip.