Gubflamstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing crow.

Gubflamstaf created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubflamstaf, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gubflamstaf, it will turn you into a goat.

Gubflamstaf's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gubflamstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never laugh in holy places.