Tikbogdon Gomyoglik is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, selfish crocodile.

Tikbogdon Gomyoglik created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikbogdon Gomyoglik, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tikbogdon Gomyoglik, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tikbogdon Gomyoglik's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tikbogdon Gomyoglik's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tikbogdon Gomyoglik's priests.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Put Tikbogdon Gomyoglik first in all things.