Hitgabvil Gudlegfun is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, boastful porpoise.

Hitgabvil Gudlegfun created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hitgabvil Gudlegfun, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hitgabvil Gudlegfun, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hitgabvil Gudlegfun's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Hitgabvil Gudlegfun's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hitgabvil Gudlegfun first in all things.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always obey Hitgabvil Gudlegfun's priests.

5. Never think ill of sick seals.