Gilgodpag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet fly.

Gilgodpag created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilgodpag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gilgodpag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gilgodpag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gilgodpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

4. Always help eagles.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.