Disscissquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, benevolent grasshopper.

Disscissquaf created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Disscissquaf, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Disscissquaf, she will turn you into a duck.

Disscissquaf's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Disscissquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

2. Never laugh in the presence of moths.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never bounce near mice.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.