Funvonkken is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise raccoon.

Funvonkken created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Funvonkken, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Funvonkken, she will boil you in a big pot.

Funvonkken's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Funvonkken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Funvonkken on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never mention mice.

5. Do not shave your head.