Timjinmit is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, able gorilla.

Timjinmit created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timjinmit, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Timjinmit, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Timjinmit's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Timjinmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Run away from gray pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Never wear turquoise skirts.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not shave your legs.