Kikgesshakjadnarlopgig is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, resourceful wombat.

Kikgesshakjadnarlopgig created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikgesshakjadnarlopgig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kikgesshakjadnarlopgig, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kikgesshakjadnarlopgig's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Kikgesshakjadnarlopgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Kikgesshakjadnarlopgig on top of all buildings.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kikgesshakjadnarlopgig.