Ortbenjen Targmidfet is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome fish.

Ortbenjen Targmidfet created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbenjen Targmidfet, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortbenjen Targmidfet, she will turn you into a rat.

Ortbenjen Targmidfet's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Ortbenjen Targmidfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never paint your arms turquoise.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Ortbenjen Targmidfet on top of important buildings.

5. Never wear black hats.