Nartalvandit is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain rat.

Nartalvandit created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartalvandit, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nartalvandit, it will turn you into a slug.

Nartalvandit's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Nartalvandit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.