Farnbegnigyik is a god.

He takes the form of a large, confident mole.

Farnbegnigyik created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnbegnigyik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Farnbegnigyik, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Farnbegnigyik's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Farnbegnigyik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Hide if eight tortoises approach from the west.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Farnbegnigyik.