Hivpaktonk Flisgessdut is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, blissful seal.

Hivpaktonk Flisgessdut created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hivpaktonk Flisgessdut, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hivpaktonk Flisgessdut, it will try to impress you with trees.

Hivpaktonk Flisgessdut's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hivpaktonk Flisgessdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Never wear purple shirts.