Bastpangapp is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tiresome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bastpangapp created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastpangapp, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bastpangapp, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bastpangapp's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bastpangapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.