Dadhudmid Banfarmob Zigpinwondun is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, boastful cow.

Dadhudmid Banfarmob Zigpinwondun created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dadhudmid Banfarmob Zigpinwondun, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dadhudmid Banfarmob Zigpinwondun, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dadhudmid Banfarmob Zigpinwondun's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dadhudmid Banfarmob Zigpinwondun's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head orange.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Do not hurt manatees.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help mites in need.