Flantabdumstikcad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, blissful newt.

Flantabdumstikcad created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flantabdumstikcad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flantabdumstikcad, it will turn you into a slug.

Flantabdumstikcad's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Flantabdumstikcad's Holy Commandments

1. Flantabdumstikcad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flantabdumstikcad.