Gabbepgepgeb Hot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient crab.

Gabbepgepgeb Hot created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabbepgepgeb Hot, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gabbepgepgeb Hot, it will turn you into a sheep.

Gabbepgepgeb Hot's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gabbepgepgeb Hot's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. Never bounce in the presence of sharks.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not speak about melons.