Kinpasyokdutdogtin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless swan.

Kinpasyokdutdogtin created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinpasyokdutdogtin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kinpasyokdutdogtin, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kinpasyokdutdogtin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Kinpasyokdutdogtin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Never sit near frogs.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.