Zodlopsathentomcimlun is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful giraffe.

Zodlopsathentomcimlun created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodlopsathentomcimlun, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zodlopsathentomcimlun, she will throw large rocks at you.

Zodlopsathentomcimlun's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zodlopsathentomcimlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans in need.

2. Worship no other gods but Zodlopsathentomcimlun.

3. Put Zodlopsathentomcimlun first in all things.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Never sit in holy places.