Futmonvabstan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, astonishing pigeon.

Futmonvabstan created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futmonvabstan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Futmonvabstan, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Futmonvabstan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Futmonvabstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never pour water over plants.