Spagfembed Quimdonbess is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, calm lobster.

Spagfembed Quimdonbess created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagfembed Quimdonbess, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Spagfembed Quimdonbess, he will send you a sign.

Spagfembed Quimdonbess' most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Spagfembed Quimdonbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lentils.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Do not hurt mites.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Spagfembed Quimdonbess on top of all buildings.