Gessin is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, emotional fly.

Gessin created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessin, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gessin, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gessin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gessin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Gessin must be the most important thing in your life.