Gofkarviltettigilboss is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, almighty aardvark.

Gofkarviltettigilboss created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofkarviltettigilboss, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gofkarviltettigilboss, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gofkarviltettigilboss' most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Gofkarviltettigilboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gofkarviltettigilboss.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Always pray immersed in water.