Gunzagbastlin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, bad-tempered fox.

Gunzagbastlin created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunzagbastlin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gunzagbastlin, it will turn you into a slug.

Gunzagbastlin's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gunzagbastlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gunzagbastlin.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not stand on grass.