Jammiltam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthoughtful walrus.

Jammiltam created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jammiltam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jammiltam, he will jump up and down on your head.

Jammiltam's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Jammiltam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Always help sick porpoises.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Retreat if five foxes approach from the west.