Sternurlwap is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unjust unicorn.

Sternurlwap created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Sternurlwap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sternurlwap, he will turn you into a plant.

Sternurlwap's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Sternurlwap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Sternurlwap on top of all buildings.

2. Worship no other gods but Sternurlwap.

3. Always treat otters with great respect.

4. Hide from purple voles for they are unholy.

5. Sternurlwap loves foxes, so they must be honoured.