Jigwonbest is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic hippopotamus.

Jigwonbest created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jigwonbest, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jigwonbest, he will turn you into a dog.

Jigwonbest's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Jigwonbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt capybaras.

2. Never mention nematodes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jigwonbest.

5. Never wear brown shoes.