Watbimkik is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered deer.

Watbimkik created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watbimkik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Watbimkik, she will turn you into a tree.

Watbimkik's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Watbimkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Feed all hungry otters.

4. Never talk about monkeys.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.