Fumwegyim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, omnipotent monkey.

Fumwegyim created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumwegyim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fumwegyim, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fumwegyim's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Fumwegyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.