Tonktondob is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, awesome faun.

Tonktondob created the Sol system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonktondob, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tonktondob, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tonktondob's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tonktondob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Hide if five snakes approach from the north.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.