Jontettifat is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-confident owl.

Jontettifat created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jontettifat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jontettifat, she will turn you into a frog.

Jontettifat's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jontettifat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured aardvarks.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Jontettifat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.