Flapvabshav is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, temperamental shrew.

Flapvabshav created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapvabshav, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flapvabshav, he will turn you into a puffin.

Flapvabshav's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Flapvabshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Flapvabshav on top of all buildings.

3. Run away if five tortoises approach from the east.

4. Retreat if nine mice approach from the west.

5. Always look after injured tapirs.