Baststannan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, wise dragon.

Baststannan created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Baststannan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Baststannan, she will turn you into a hamster.

Baststannan's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Baststannan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never paint your head purple.

3. Never skip near monkeys.

4. Never talk about otters.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Baststannan.